What did we do last night that was yellow?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I am available for nakedness
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
