You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
