It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
