Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
