Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
