Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize