I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
where am i from again
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
