i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
