I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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