At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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