Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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