I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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