What tipped you off? The sombrero?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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