So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
