I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
