Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
