He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
