happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
