i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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