Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
