just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
