they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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