Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Still dying that you shit outside
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
