apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
