im having a threesome with these popsicles
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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