is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
