Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Sext me about skeletons
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize