a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
