can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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