Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
