well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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