I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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