Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
