I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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