Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
