McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
