ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
