so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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