4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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