if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Im part way to drunk.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
