I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
