At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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