I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
