D3 body, D1 cock
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
