its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
