ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
