After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
