White coat. Heels.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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