Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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