Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize