Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
