he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
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and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
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Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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