Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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