Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
