We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
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