I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
