I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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