Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
