i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
