I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
