End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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