you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
