Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.

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  (818): he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job. http://tfl.nu/gvx6
  Replies (9) Good night (992) Bad night (1396)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.

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  (862): textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me (973): that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world. http://tfl.nu/8ia3
  Replies (27) Good night (956) Bad night (2471)
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  (858): View more from California

  I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.

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  (858): I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell. http://tfl.nu/6q5z
  Replies (6) Good night (741) Bad night (1998)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!

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  (740): at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!! http://tfl.nu/mp48
  Replies (72) Good night (3422) Bad night (1280)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.

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  (954): Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/pltj
  Replies (17) Good night (4079) Bad night (1347)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.

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  (605): I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us. http://tfl.nu/gkw5
  Replies (7) Good night (3168) Bad night (1012)
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  (925): View more from California

  Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.

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  (925): Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager. http://tfl.nu/yj7y
  Replies (8) Good night (2536) Bad night (1103)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?

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  (913): Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar? http://tfl.nu/6f8e
  Replies (10) Good night (2439) Bad night (875)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.

  (917): View more from New York City

  So many issues. You honestly need help.

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  (862): I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in. (917): So many issues. You honestly need help. http://tfl.nu/cv7o
  Replies (10) Good night (2608) Bad night (1120)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.

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  (514): I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari. http://tfl.nu/cpgv
  Replies (6) Good night (898) Bad night (1314)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.

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  (802): I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me. http://tfl.nu/liob
  Replies (4) Good night (1785) Bad night (1350)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.

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  (254): We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight. http://tfl.nu/fhx0
  Replies (4) Good night (1721) Bad night (662)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.

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  (419): Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life. http://tfl.nu/1dog
  Replies (4) Good night (1419) Bad night (587)
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  (707): View more from California

  DON'T WEAR PANTS.

  (707): View more from California

  I REPEAT.

  (707): View more from California

  DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.

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  (707): DON'T WEAR PANTS. (707): I REPEAT. (707): DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS. http://tfl.nu/9ogh
  Replies (7) Good night (833) Bad night (368)
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  (516): View more from New York

  He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.

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  (516): He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP. http://tfl.nu/qa9j
  Replies (0) Good night (355) Bad night (638)

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