i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
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literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice