Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He is an equal opportunity slut.

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  (816): He is an equal opportunity slut. http://tfl.nu/40gq
  Replies (10) Good night (2454) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.

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  (616): The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes. http://tfl.nu/pvjr
  Replies (43) Good night (3358) Bad night (1034)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.

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  (713): Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake. http://tfl.nu/b27h
  Replies (19) Good night (646) Bad night (5153)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes

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  (864): her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes http://tfl.nu/t8i7
  Replies (9) Good night (1758) Bad night (4066)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.

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  (203): I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season. http://tfl.nu/xinh
  Replies (24) Good night (5180) Bad night (1164)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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  (917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b
  Replies (44) Good night (1785) Bad night (6828)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.

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  (562): or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her. http://tfl.nu/io8a
  Replies (3) Good night (1841) Bad night (1227)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what

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  (914): I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what http://tfl.nu/90g1
  Replies (3) Good night (3755) Bad night (720)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.

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  (804): I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast. http://tfl.nu/dcvd
  Replies (26) Good night (1670) Bad night (3369)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  You threw up with your ski mask on still.

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  (410): You threw up with your ski mask on still. http://tfl.nu/wyp5
  Replies (8) Good night (576) Bad night (2254)
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  (925): View more from California

  Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday

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  (925): Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday http://tfl.nu/d2se
  Replies (10) Good night (587) Bad night (1531)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒

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  (540): Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒 http://tfl.nu/mpql
  Replies (4) Good night (818) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.

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  (479): Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question. http://tfl.nu/6lny
  Replies (6) Good night (830) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.

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  (717): The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment. http://tfl.nu/qpzk
  Replies (1) Good night (342) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance

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  (631): I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance http://tfl.nu/yvxa
  Replies (0) Good night (314) Bad night (580)

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