I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize