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• (941): View more from Florida

  Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one

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• (641): View more from Iowa

  TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY

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  You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna

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• (562): View more from California

  The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.

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• 

  27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.

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• (315): View more from New York

  so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  That's literally the perfect eulogy

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Shower wine is way better than shower beer.

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