I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.