oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
