I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Cover your peen. We're going out.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
