Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
