I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
