He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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