I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
