All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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